Month: May 2021

Learning Outcome 6: Sentence-Level Error- Control sentence-level error (grammar, punctuation, spelling)

In high school, I would never really look at my papers and revise them or change my ideas. I would maybe read them over once before submitting them to make sure they sounded good but that was about as far as I went with revisions. In English 110, after looking at global revision, I looked at local revision to help make my papers more grammatically correct. Local revision can be easily missed because spelling and punctuation errors are so slight and can be hard to catch when looking over a paper too quickly. This is why it is important to look over your finished paper carefully, and read it multiple times before turning in the final product. In Figure 1, I have an example of a sentence from my second essay, showing my rough draft, and Figure 2 shows the revisions I have made to that specific sentence to make it more grammatically correct and flow better. Although these corrections are slight, and are not as big as global revision, it is important to look at sentence level errors to ensure that you as an author sounds knowledgeable and grammatically correct.

Figure 1: Initial Sentence in Essay #2 Rough Draft:

Figure 2: Revised Sentence in Essay #2 Final Draft:

Learning Outcome 5: Document World MLA- Document their work using appropriate conventions (MLA)

In high school, we wrote every paper in MLA style, so coming into English 110, I was very experienced with citing quotes and creating a works cited page. When using other authors’ pieces of writing within your own, it is important to give them credit in the proper format. In class we worked on specifically how to create a proper MLA document along with a works cited page to ensure that other authors used in our essay received the credit for their work. It is important to make sure that our work is in MLA format because without it, it becomes plagiarized. Figure 1 shows my highlighted citations after quotes on my third essay, while Figure 2 shows my works cited page for my first essay. Without giving another author credit in your work, not only is it plagiarism, but it is not professional, and it creates an informal piece of writing. By having an informal piece of writing, it makes what you have to say not as valid.

Figure 1: Highlighted Citation After Quotes in Essay #3:

Figure 2: Works Cited Page for Essay #1:

Outcome 4 (Peer Review) – Be able to critique their own and others’ work by emphasizing global revision early in the writing process and local revision later in the process.

My experience with peer revision was always based on local revision. It was seen as the easy way out of peer reviewing papers, and the best way to not hurt someone’s feelings when revising their papers. There was not much global revision involved, making me uncomfortable with the process of doing peer revisions based solely on global revision. Initially, I did not understand how to peer review global revision, until Professor Brod handed us our annotations sheets to refer to when we were making revisions. This sheet helped set up a basis of what we should be looking at when we are doing peer revisions, and how we can comment and help someone else improve upon their writing. In Figure 1, I have made a comment on my peer Alex’s paper asking if he could relate his current paragraph to another text. On the annotation sheet we were provided, one of the comments we could make on our peers’ papers was seeing if they could relate text to text within their writing. This comment would be an example of suggesting the use of text to text relations within his writing, helping to strengthen his thesis and prove his argument.

Figure 1: Peer Revisions from Alex Woodworth’s Essay #3:

Local revision was something we had to look at after the big changes and global revision was completed. Local revision is mainly focused on grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, spelling etc. Because I have had experience in high school correcting local revision, it was easy to spot in essays, although when we were peer reviewing we did want to focus mainly on global revision. In Figure 2, I have my end comment on Mackenzie Riley’s first essay, and highlighted in blue I have a section that is asking her to check on her local revision, such as grammar and spelling. The rest of the comment is mainly based around global revision, and focusing on quotes, analysis, and organization of her paragraphs. Although we primarily wanted to focus on global revision, it is easy to let the small details slide past us, but they can also make or break a piece of writing. By having improper grammar, it can invalidate a piece of writing, and make the author seem not as trusting or knowledgeable of information.

Figure 2: Peer Revision End Comment on Mackenzie Riley’s Essay #1:

Figure 2: Peer Revision End Comment on Mackenzie Riley’s Essay #1:

Outcome 3 (Active Reading) – Employ techniques of active reading, critical reading, and informal reading response for inquiry, learning, and thinking.

In high school, I always read the texts and highlighted sections of them that I thought was important, but I never really understood the importance of active reading. I would sometimes make comments about the text and ideas I had, but they were never super involved or analyzed too much of the text. It was not until this year that I realized how important actively reading the text was and how much further I understood the text when I did read actively. In Figure 1, I have a page of annotations and highlighted sections I made in Konnikova’s article, demonstrating the process of active reading. It is critical to actively read the text because it ensures that you understand the text completely and fully, and also helps when analyzing quotations, because you can draw ideas from the text that you had previously written about certain sections of the text.

Figure 1: Annotations from Konnikova Article:

I have never done a reading response after reading a new text, until I came into this class. After reading the text, the reading response questions allows me to answer questions about the text, helping me to get a better understanding of the text I had just read, and allows me to come up with new ideas and practice integrating quotes and analysis with my ideas. In Figure 2, I have an example of a reading response question from Konnikova’s text, showing how I have included my annotations and highlighted sections from the text within my response. By completing these reading response questions, it sets me up for success when it comes to actually writing the essay itself, because a lot of the ideas included in the reading response questions are included within the essay. This allows me to have practice with using the text along with analysis and quotes in an informal manner, allowing me to prepare myself to write with the same material in a formal manner.

Figure 2: Konnikova’s Reading Response Questions:

Outcome 2 (Integrating Ideas) – Be able to integrate their ideas with others using summary, paraphrase, quotation, analysis, and synthesis of relevant sources.

Coming into English 110, I was not familiar with the use of paraphrasing, and I was not comfortable with the idea of it. In high school, I only had the experience of using quotes to support my ideas and not paraphrasing. I tried to avoid it at all costs because I did not necessarily know how to properly paraphrase or even go about the idea of it. On my first essay, I decided to step outside of my comfort zone and integrate paraphrasing into my writing.  In Figure 1, I have an example of paraphrasing from my first essay with Konnikova (highlighted section). There was a long quote within Konnikova’s article that I wanted to incorporate within my writing, but was too long to use as a quote, so I decided to paraphrase. At first I was scared that my paraphrasing would be seen as more summary rather than actual textual evidence, but after incorporating the ideas from the text into my essay, it all flowed together.

Figure 1: Excerpt from Essay #1 Final Draft:

Because I had used quotes so often in highschool, I felt relatively comfortable with the idea of using them, but I feel as though I did not utilize all of my resources when introducing a quote. Professor Brod introduced me to the idea of a quote sandwich, showing that we had to introduce the text and the author, and give some background information before we dive right into the quote. This definitely helped me set up my quotes and make sure background context and introduction of the author was included before every quote. This being said, an easy way to ensure that I utilized the idea of quote sandwiches was to use templates in “They Say/I Say” by Gerald Graff, Cathy Birkenstein, and Richard Bullock. These templates allowed me to properly introduce a quote by giving me ideas of what to say, allowing me to easily implement them in my writing. In Figure 2, I have included an excerpt from my Essay #2, showing a quote where I have used a template. The highlighted section is the template. After utilizing these templates, I feel as if my writing is more clear, as it clearly integrates my ideas from introducing the author, into their ideas and the quote.

Figure 2: Highlighted Template from Essay #2 Final Draft:

Outcome 1 (Recursive Process) – Demonstrate the ability to approach writing as a recursive process that requires substantial revision of drafts for content, organization, and clarity (global revision), as well as editing and proofreading (local revision).

When asked whether I had done peer revisions before, I said yes, and then thought to myself this would be a waste of time. In high school, I had done peer revisions, but it was all focused on grammar, punctuation, word choice, etc. Making these little corrections was the easy way out, but it did not benefit mine or my peers papers throughout the revision process. After entering English 110, I have learned that in order to have a good peer review, it is not about the small details, but rather the thesis, analysis, and using quotes and paraphrasing. These big picture corrections took a lot longer than skimming the paper for grammatical errors, and definitely required being read multiple times to see where the paper really could improve. Although tedious, it has been a great help to the improvement of mine and my peers papers. 

After peer revisions, I would always look back at my essay and see the comments my partner had made. One of the most common comments I got was on global revision; to extend my analysis and connect my ideas to my thesis. In Figure 1, I had a paragraph previously written with a quote and two sentences of analysis. The writing itself was clear and related to the prompt, but it needed to be extended further so I added a good starting claim to the paragraph, and added a few more sentences that extended the idea of the quote while also relating back to my thesis. This helped strengthen the argument I was trying to make in my thesis, while using the quote as support, rather than just summary. 

Figure 1: Excerpt from Essay #3 Final Draft

With my local revision, I tend to not be as concise in my word choice, as I could replace phrases I have written with certain words to help keep my writing organized and concise. By not having concise word choice, it created clutter and disorganization within my writing, deterring the reader from the idea I am trying to get across. In Figure 2, I have comments that Professor Brod has made to help organize my thoughts a little more and give a more direct route towards my ideas. This has 3significantly improved my writing as it demonstrates a more clear and concise tone, while still not deterring the original ideas from my writing. Although small, these local revisions can significantly improve the tone and voice of your writing, and make for a better understanding. 

Figure 2: Essay #3 Rough Draft