1. I believe my essays most notable strength is being able to properly integrate quotes within my writing. I feel as if every quote I use is strong and supports the claims I am trying to make within my argument. I also introduce them properly, and give good background context on about the quote. For example, I stated, “In his speech, Foster Wallace discusses the idea of a liberal arts education, and how it was meant not to teach us knowledge, but teach us how to think. According to Foster Wallace, “…the really significant education in thinking that we’re supposed to get in a place like this isn’t really about the capacity to think, but rather about the choice of what to think about” (Wallace 2)”. Here, I give background knowledge of what my quote is going to be about, introduce the quote, have the actual quote, and then cite it. From there, I then went on to analyze the quote, and show how it supports my thesis.
  2. I feel as if the revisions within my second essay were more analysis based than the revisions to my first essay. That being said, my second revision process really had me look into the details of my quotes, break them apart and analyze them so they fully support my thesis and the argument I am trying to make. My first essay, I felt like was more about fixing up loose ends rather than breaking apart my paragraphs and going into a further analysis. By doing so, my revision process has improved because it allows me to look deeper into my writing and improve upon the ideas I had previously written. This helped me specifically within the analysis of paragraph 7, because as I looked at it further during my revisions, I noticed I could turn it into a naysayer paragraph and introduce both Bloom and Foster Wallace’s voices to help strengthen my argument.
  3. I feel as though I had strong integration of source material because I clearly stated a claim about the background information of the quote, and introduced it properly. My quotes were always relevant to the claim I was trying to prove, allowing me to strengthen my argument. As for integration in itself, all my introductions of quotes came from “They Say/I Say” as the utilization of the templates in chapter three allowed me to organize my thoughts and properly integrate my quotes.
  4. “Although Foster Wallace suggests that we have the choice of what to think about and how our thoughts can directly affect those around us whether positive or negative, Bloom claims that empathy is narrow minded and insensitive, giving it a negative connotation”. I feel as if this is my strongest claim because it has both of the authors voices in it showing the comparison and argument, but it also continues the idea from the last paragraph into this one. I feel as though my voice throughout my writing is fairly present, although in high school I was never aloud to use my own voice. This has been a struggle for me, but I believe I have done a decent job trying to break that boundary and get out of my comfort zone.
  5. “Although I agree with Konnikova up to a point, I cannot accept her overriding assumption that interpersonal relationships cannot be developed over a virtual platform as Chen argues”(First essay). “Although I agree with some of Bloom’s arguments about the negative effects of empathy, Foster Wallace’s theories about having the decision to choose what to think about are worth adopting into my everyday life as a college student” (Second essay). Both thesis’s begin with an argumentative statement showing and finish showing which side I plan on taking throughout my essay. They also include the voice of both authors, and my own voice, showing that I will incorporate some of my own ideas into the essay as well. I feel as though my first thesis flows a little better as I used a template from “They Say/I Say” to help me organize my ideas, compared to my second thesis I did not use a template and thought my ideas were a little choppy. I thought my first thesis statement was stronger, and that it supported the argument and prompt in a stronger way than my second thesis did. I did feel as though the first prompt was a little more boxed in and the second prompt gave us more freedom, helping me collect my ideas and organize my thoughts better for the first essay rather than the second.